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Breakups Are Hard,
But Thank Goodness for Friends
Commentary by PubClub Columnist "The Bartender"
This is not a story about a broken heart. The relationship did not last that long.
It was, however, significant enough to where we had advanced to the point of planning time together for the future, to be locked in arms while walking in public and for me to be invited to an intimate dinner party with her close friends.
So it came as a great surprise to me – shellshocked would be the more accurate description – when at her house after the aforementioned dinner party I was informed that there was another gentlemen in my lady's life. Not only that, but he was coming out from another state (where he lives) to spend a month with her and if it all works out, she would be packing her bags and moving back with him.
I would describe the feeling if I had any at the time. Certainly betrayal now comes to mind. But, so stunned was I by this shocking development, that I could do nothing – say nothing, do nothing, move nothing. I simply stared in disbelief at a duffle bag I had on her floor. Should I pick up the bag and leave? Stay and try to convince her to change the situation?
Frankly, I was hoping my bag would give me a clue. Suddenly leap into my lap and say "let's go!" But it just sat there, still as the night air.
And let me make it clear, this was no mind-changing 21-year-old but someone in her mid-30s with a good job at a highly respectable company. She had been showing signs of wanting to grow this month-long relationship into something significant. We were to go hiking together. Set up a friend with someone at her dinner party. Spend a weekend on a friend's boat in beautiful Monterey, Calif.
Since I enjoyed her company, I was signed up with the program and ready to roll. But, of course, it all came crashing down like a collapsed bookshelf.
One might expect my feelings the next day to include depression, rejection and anger. But I was too stunned to experience any of those emotions. What I really needed was a hug from a friend.
And I got it. From a few friends. They came to my rescue and lifted up my spirits like a magician doing a levitation trick. Four of us spent the day together, not talking so much about my situation, but just being together. They were there for me when I needed them.
Ironically, on the same night as my incident on the other side of town, a good friend was experiencing a similar breakup with his girlfriend. His was much more dramatic and occurred in a public place, but it had the same effect on him – surprise, shock and disbelief at what had just transpired.
We immediately rallied together because the point of this column is simple: Girlfriends (and boyfriends, as girls I know you've more than likely experienced relationship issues, as well) come and go. But friends last forever.
Thanks friends!
The Bartender – and his heart – can be reached at bartender@pubclub.com
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