|
Why We Live in
and Love L.A.
Hanging out at Sharkeez,
a crazy cantina that's a favorite watering hole.
My maid has a cell phone.
If this is not enough of an indicator of everyday life in Los Angeles,
then consider the fact that she uses it like a credit card sales person,
calling almost weekly to set up her next appointment and attempting
to guilt-trip me into scheduling her for more visits. (I'm holding out
for her to start offering frequent-flier miles for every dish she washes.)
Cell phones are the single person's lifeblood here. It's used to keep
in touch with friends to find the best house party, to gather people
at a bar or to tell a date you're late because of traffic. I also use
it to plug in the phone number of a girl I've just met. As an added
bonus, I call her to make sure I have the irght number; she has mine
and then I'm able to know who it is when she calls.
I do, wish, though, phones would have a time/date stamp when entering
a number. In L.A.'s singles scene, it's easy to collect a phone book
full of numbers.
There are other quirks about living in L.A. that are completely foreign
to life anywhere else on this planet. For instance, traffic on the freeways
suddenly stops without warning. You can be happily buzzing along when
all of a sudden – BAM! Gridlock. Bumper to bumper. A couple
of miles later, it's all gone,without a trace or even a hint as to what
even caused the slowdown. This can happen any time of the day or night.
Then there's the lack of an attention span among the people. One minute,
a particular idea or item is the greatest thing since double espresso,
but as soon as something else comes along, it's as outdated as Roseanne
Barr.
Staying on top of these things separates the single boys from the men.
Living here involves being on the cutting edge of technology. Angelenos
must always have the most powerful computer, the latest software, the
hottest gadgets, the newest cellular phone (everyone has at least four
older, but otherwise perfectly useful models in their junk drawer),
and be dressed in the most fashionable fashions. Trendy is not
a word here, it's an obsession. These toys are paid for exclusively
by credit card; we would rather have the cell service go down than be
caught at the store with a checkbook.
Not playing by these rules means L.A. can be a very big, lonely place
for singles.
We complain about anything that's not perfect: The bread at a high-priced
restaurant, seats not being in the Field Level when someone gives us
tickets to a Dodger game, the guests on The Tonight Show when
we decide to go, that kind of thing.
Yet despite our shortcomings, we do have one positive attribute that
practically no other place in the world can claim. Something so wonderful
that it keeps us here and more than makes up for any traffic the 405
can dish out. And the odd thing about it is that in this land of riches
where money does indeed buy many people's happiness, it is free.
It's sunshine.
 Los
Angeles has, without peer, the world's best weather. It's sunny something
like 325 days a year. Temperatures are consistently in the 70s with
never a hint of humidity. It's Bliss with a capital "B."
This is where this city really shines – literally and figuratively.
It's where the endless suntans come from, the "yesterday was sunny,
today is sunny and tomorrow is sunny" attitude it born and where
social-minded people get out an meet each other.
The beaches are the best. Volleyball on the sand, rollerblading, running,
biking – it's all within easy reach. (Surfing takes quite
a bit of skill, but boogie boarding is within easier reach of aquatic
squids).
And with that beach comes beachside bars, which fill up late in afternoons
with thirsty patrons who have earned their drinks. Not all are fortunate
enough to live by the sea and indeed many don't wish to do so. And,
frankly, so be it.
But for me, my advice for those looking for love in this city –
or at least lust – head to the beach! After all, it's an Endless
Summer here. Might as well take advantage of it.
The Bartender can be reached at bartender@pubclub.com
 Next
stop on the Party Bus: Pre Party
|