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PubClubbing in Key West
Daytime or nighttime,
the bars rock throughout Key West.
I went down to Captain Tony's to get
out from the heat...
This line from a Jimmy Buffett song pretty much describes the bar scene
in Key West. People walking down Duval Street on a warm afternoon give
up the notion of doing anything productive and stop into one of the
many decades-old bars made famous by Hemmingway, Buffett or those famous
only to the locals.
This starts the Key West PubClubbing adventure.
There is only one mega dance club on the island yet the music is everywhere.
Even the smallest of bars have live bands.
 The
music plays from noon until closing. It doen't take long to see the
same artist pop up later in the day at another club with different band
members. It's the unofficial Key West Musical Tour and it keeps the
musicians employed enough for enable them to keep living here. Just
ask
Buffett, who often records in Key West.
Visitors come to
Key West to get wild in the town's many saloons.
The key is to know the top musicians and keep track of their location
either by asking them, the bartenders or through the weekly newspapers
(Paradise This Week, Key West The Newspaper, Island News, L'Attitudes).
Or, one can hole up at one of the traditional pubs like Sloppy Joe's
or Hog's Breath and wait for the entertainment to come your way.
Sunsets on Mallory Square
Thousands gather
on the dock at Mallory Square to see the sunsets.
If there is one "must-do" of Key West, it is sunset at Mallory
Square (adjacent to the Ocean Key House at the north end of Duval).
Here, the disappearance of the sun is a ritual, toasted each and every
day. The annual festivals are celebrated at other places. Thousands
gather on the sidewalk each evening and are entertained by street performers,
high-wire artists and others locals, many of whom earn their living
doing this each evening.
Music of all kinds
fills Mallory Square at sunset.
It can get pretty crazy here, like the time a buxom parasailing girl
had so much tequila she decided to yank off her top, prompting the skipper
to drive the boat back and forth several times in front of the cheering
crowd.
Such a scene cannot be fully enjoyed without cocktails, and the fine
folks at Casa Cayo Hueso are there to help. Margaritas are the
specialty at this outdoor bar, which mixes well with the live Latin
band. Cayo Hueso, which is how our neighbors 90 miles to the South pronounce
Key West, serves good Cuban food for a tasty post-sunset meal.
To continue the post-sunset buzz, the Sunset Deck at the Pier House
is a friendly dive a short walk from Mallory Square. It's just across
the lagoon from the Ocean Key House hotel and there's usually a cool
calypso band playing around sunset. Occasionally, concerts featuring
fairly big-name artists like The Radiators play in the lagoon. This
is the ultimate Key West experience – good music, standing knee-deep
in warm water with a drink in hand.
If there's any other place to watch the sunset, it's the bar at the
top of the La Concha Holiday Inn. This provides the best view
of Key West, making it a good stop anytime.
Live Music
Alone, in a duo
or in a full band, Fritz is one of Key West's top musicians.
Follow the sounds of your favorite musicians and you are guaranteed
to have a good time in Key West.
The musicians rotate from bar to bar in an island game of musical chairs,
usually playing two to three gigs each day. As the day grows older,
the bands grow larger and the names often change according to who is
in the group. Fortunately, the lead singer's name is usually included
somewhere in the name, so it's not difficult to figure out where who
is playing.
The most popular are Fritz's various bands (Ocean Key House
late afternoons, usually Sloppy Joe's at night when it's known as the
Robert Albury Band); Michael McCloud, kind of a modern-day/old-time
Buffett who plays 60s and 70s rock mixed in with some "local"
originals, unique songs about Key West (he usually starts at Schooner's
at noon) and blues singer Mike Lee. McCloud, who describes himself
as "an alcohol-powered juke box" came to Key West for a weekend
45 years ago and has yet to leave.
Outdoor/Daytime Pubs
The Ocean Key House
has a patio and good music, courtesy of Fritz and Lisa.
It's pretty much a given that any bar in Key West is open for business
after noon, but for an outdoor deck and a patio, these are the places
to go.
Located on the water adjacent to the Pier House is the Ocean Key
House. It's one of the island's premier hotels and has a popular
late-afternoon bayside bar. Music is courtesy of Fritz and Lisa, a dynamic
daytime duo.
The Oak Beach Inn (227 Duval, across from the Bull Tavern) is
located in a colonial-style home that is a good late-afternoon spot
which can turn into an all-night adventure. It has an outdoor
patio with live music that also contains an oxygen bar, which is convenient
because its New York parent originated the Long Island Iced Tea. After
downing a few of those concoctions, it's a good idea to have an oxygen
tank handy. At night, the restaurant turns into an indoor DJ-paced dance
club. The oxygen bar is very popular among the island's scuba divers.
Pubs (and Key West Traditions)
Sloppy Joe's is
a Key West landmark dating back to the days of Hemmingway.
The center of Key West's socializing is located within a two-block
area of Duval Street near Mallory Square. Tourists – particularly
those just here for a weekend – do not stray far from this area.
Locals tend find their thrills at a few pubs away from this busy area.
The king of Key West bars is Sloppy Joe's. If it doesn't become
a personal landmark upon arrival, it will be soon enough. Sloppy Joe's
was a fishing buddy of Ernest Hemmingway who owned a saloon. It soon
became Hemmingway's favorite bar and today is a favorite of everyone
who visits Key West.
Because of its history and tradition, Sloppy Joe's attracts the liveliest
crowds. Every PubClubbing tourist makes his/her way into here at least
a few times during a trip. This is where they go to really cut loose
in Key West. The music is good, the staff friendly and since it's the
largest of the pubs in town, there is plenty of room for dancing.
Sloppy's is busy from noon to well past midnight. For those who don't
ever care to leave, Sloppy Joe's serves food.
Like the place says,
having hog's breath is better than no breath at all.
Just down from Sloppy Joe's on Front Street is the Hog's Breath
Saloon. This is a great "bonding bar" with an especially
friendly staff. As they say here, having hog's breath is better than
having no breath at all. People headed for Sloppy's usually stop first
at the Hog's Breath.
 Further
down the street is a Key West landmark. Captain Tony's Saloon,
made famous by the Jimmy Buffett song "Last Mango in Paris,"
serves cold long-necks in an atmosphere surrounded by thousands of business
cards from patrons of the past. The building is the original location
of Sloppy Joes, where Hemmingway met his third wife back in 1936. Or
so goes the legend. One fact that is not myth is that Captain Tony's
patrons, fed up with local politicians, elected their favorite bartender
(Tony) mayor of Key West some years ago.
Back on Duval Street, Rick's attracts a younger crowd than Hog's
Breath or Captain Tony's. Rick's serves frozen drinks in the coolest
plastic cups in the Keys; the slogan is "As Time Goes By,"
from the movie Casablanca.
About halfway up Duval (toward the Southernmost Point), The Bull
is three levels of rocking and rolling. It's largely an night place,
best after 10 p.m. This old-time open-air bar features live music on
the first floor, darts and pool on the second floor and has a clothing-optional
third level.
Kevin's Irish Bar is a fun time, and since PubClub.com's Bartender's
first name is Kevin, he demands you go there.
 The
crowd at the Bull is largely local sprinkled with Key West frequent
travelers. Locals prefer a pair of pubs off Duval, the Schooner Wharf
Bar (202 William St., near Caroline) and the Green Parrot (601
Whitehead near Mallory Square). Schooner's is a tiki-style bar with
an open patio while the Green Parrot was claims to be "the first
and last bar on U.S. 1" which is true depending on one's point
of view.
The Green Parrot was voted one of the Best Bars in America (along with
Sky
Bar in Los Angeles, though the two places couldn't be more
different). Just imagine Sky Bar selling t-shirts, with slogans like,
"See the Lower Keys on Your Hands and Knees" and "No
Sniveling." At the Green Parrot, the management works tirelessly
to avoid progress.
To prove its point, the Parrot – as well as the Schooner – only
accept cash.
Parrot Heads will naturally flock to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville
Cafe (500 Duval). But unless The Man himself is making one of his rare
appearances, it's not on the radar screen of most locals or tourists
in-the-know. The place is just too pristine – too clean and modern
considering Buffett's history in Key West. You kind of expect a place
with dark wood, bad carpeting and pool tables. Unlike the bar, though,
the gift shop is a Parrot Head's delight.
There are two salsa clubs in town Virgilio's (Appelrouth Lane,
a side street off Duval near Ripley's) and Rhumba, downstairs
from Crabby Dick's restaurant (712 Duval).
Sports fans: Crabby Dick's (712 Duval) has eight large-screen
TVs.
Clubs
EPoch (623 Dival Street) is Key West's only real dance club.
Its three levels have a capacity of about 1,500, making it popular among
the Spring Break crowd. Guest DJs keep the crowd spinning.
For a club of a different sort, Diva's (711 Duval) combines
dancing with drag shows. La Te Da (1125 Duval) is another drag
club.
The most notable strip club in town is Teaser's on Truman Street.
It's totally nude and serves drinks.
 Next
stop on the Party Bus: PostParty
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