What's in a Nickname?
Making the Most of Monikers That Mark People
The Blonde, with friend, living up to her nickname.
What's in a nickname?
For people who have them – or dole them out – they are a person's stamp of personality, a point of pride, a profile of particular habits or, perhaps, peculiarities.
Some people seek out nicknames, sometimes new titles are a consequence of circumstance and then there are some characters whose actions just BEG for a moniker.
Nicknames are everywhere. Presidents have them. Even the Pope doesn't go by his given name, They are particularly prevalent in sports, where not only players are known as The Yankee Clipper, The Babe, The Galloping Ghost and The Big Unit, (the lucky guy), but even the games have titles. The Shot Heard Round the World. The Catch. The Immaculate Reception. These titles define the moments themselves and forever stamp the greatness of the event.
In some countries, nicknames are part of the culture. Just about everybody in Brazil not only has one, but goes by it almost exclusively.
In the years PubClub has been traveling the globe, we have encountered individuals who are just best suited to be known by nicknames we bestow upon them. We have Hot Body Connie and Herr Amsterdam. Asian Ed. Bucket Billy. Digger. Double D. The Harbor Master. Ice. Nutty. Screen Door. Surfer Mike.
There's The Beast, The Fish and The Lifeguard. Waldo (because he's everywhere). With Cream, Cheese, Olive Oil, Frying Pan and Spoon, we have the kitchen covered. And we must recognize The World's Most Dangerous Canadian.
And don't forget the PubClubettes: Sexy Shauna, Sultry Sasha and Delicious Dee.
Some individuals are held in such high regard for living up to their nicknames that PubClub has felt the need to pen articles specifically about them, which we've identified with these links: Luau Larry. The Aquarium Guy. The Blonde.
While surely more are to come, here's a look at the People of PubClub and how they came to earn their particular nickname:
ASIAN ED – Loves Asian girls. We've often lost him on the street or in a bar only to locate him having an Asian girl pinned up against a wall. He's got a knack for it; too, because they love his attention.
BUCKET BILLY – There's a bar Billy frequents that serves potent drinks in 64-ounce buckets. They are meant to be shared by a group but Billy – one of the most polite people we've ever encountered – likes to take care of 'em himself, usually on Sunday afternoons. Needless to say, he's a mess by dark. But he's still polite.
CREAM CHEESE – This came about after a night in Miami. He's about the smoothest talker we have ever encountered. He's witty, clever and creative, able to create humorous conversations with ease and flair. While thinking of this, we happened to be walking by a bagel shop and it struck us – he's as smooth as cream cheese on a bagel. Unfortunately girls think it sounds slimy but nothing could be farther from the truth. When we went to Montreal we had to call him by his French name: Frommage de la Creme.
DIGGER – We can't take credit for this one. He earned this back in the roarin' 1300 days of life in Manhattan Beach, CA. Seems he was quite good at digging tough shots out of the sand in the beach volleyball games that served as a weekend warmup at this beachfront adult fraternity house. Interesting enough, he ran with the name and even used it in an 800- phone number, which he sold to a gardening firm for something like $10,000. Now THAT'S digging!
DOUBLE D – She has two nicknames. Actually, make that three, because her "Double Ds" are individually known as Thelma and Louise. In defending the Double D name she says, "Hey it's because I'm Diva Dana!" Right.
THE HARBOR MASTER – We call her this because she always seems to have a fleet of men around her. It takes someone like a harbor master to control all this traffic.
HERR AMSTERDAM – This guy has been to Amsterdam so many times he knows it like the back of his hand. It's a badge of honor. Read about The Bartender tagging along with Herr Amsterdam.
HOT BODY CONNIE – Pretty self-explanatory. One look at this girl in a bikini would be explanation enough. Fortunately, she does not have the attitude to keep fun people at bay, instead having an outgoing personality that finds fun.
ICE – Good guy. From Virginia. Mostly conservative and rarely has more than a couple of drinks when he's out because he likes to stay in control. Cool as ice, one might say. But put bourbon in him – and it has to be real Kentucky Bourbon – and he melts like, well, ice does when bourbon is poured in a glass.
NUTTY – She's different, some would even say a bit odd. But really, she just unique. Nutty is her own person. For example, she takes her cat for walks.. In a large grocery store, she wanders the aisles wide-eyed, stopping to pluck down cheese, meat and other products which she consumes as she makes her way through the rest of the store (when she gets to the cash register, she presents the empty packets to scan). Nutty, you see, gets distracted by shiny objects. Her cozy vehicle, by the way, is The Nutty Van.
OLIVE OIL – First the first. We met an absolutely sexy girl whom we were told was a mid-20s virgin. After a few unsuccessful attempts to take care of the poor girl, we (well, it was actually our columnist, The Bartender) determined it was worse than he thought - she's an Extra Virgin! Thus, the name Olive Oil. It was pretty easy to cover the nickname's real meaning because she is slim like the Popeye character. Plus, as it turns out this was her nickname in college (an affirmation of our opinion, no doubt). Eventually her friend with no nickname – okay girl, it's coming! – coaxed the real truth out of us and the secret was out of the bottle.
SCREEN DOOR – Surprise confession: This one came about when we were drinking! In a late-night attempt at having our lovely lady neighbors join us for some final-evening fun, we walked into their apartment. But they were not there, so we started some, er, redecorating (it involved a stuffed teddy bear and fruit; let's just leave it at that) when this particular individual decided he wanted a picture and turned to sprint outside to get his camera. Unknown to him, someone had shut the screen door and BAM! As timing would have it, this is precisely when one of the girls emerged from sleeping and her first sight was of our friend rolling around on the floor wrapped her a screen door. Think she was amused?
SOUTH BAY JANE – The beach cities of Los Angeles – Hermosa, Manhattan and Redondo Beach – are collectively know as the South Bay. The Queen Bee of this area, the social sweetie who once organized pub crawls, party buses and parties, was at the center of it all. So you can imagine PubClub.com's surprise when we learned she actually lived in another area. This stunning realization caused this comment: "Well, you're just a regular South Bay Jane!" And so the name stuck.
SPOON – A natural, as his last name is Witherspoon. This is a very common nickname in pro basketball, where there seem to be quite a few Witherspoons for some reason. PubClub is trying – unsuccessfully to this point – to have Spoon's fiancee dress up as a bowl of cereal for Halloween.
SURFER MIKE – He lives in a small apartment in the California coastal surf community of Es Porto. He surfs, his friends surf and they talk about surfing. He's been all over California Mexico, Central America and Brazil, all with his surfboard by his side."Surfer Mike" is as much of a lifestyle as it is a nickname.
THE BEAST – His last name is Verbeast, and he's had this tag since high school. Think "fullback running through the line" when it comes to delivering lines to girls. Example: Immediately upon meeting a girl from Sweden in bar, he says, "How do you say 'screw' in Swedish?"
THE FISH – An attractive, vivacious blonde, she's got a mouth you could put a hook in (on her, it works, quite frankly). For years she did not know this was her nickname but her sister recently spilled the beans. Great. Our cover blown.
THE LIFEGUARD – This tall Canadian, who is actually a firefighter, earned this during a trip to a California beach when he wound up on the lifeguard stand with a girl after a house party. Yeah!
WALDO – As we mentioned earlier, he's everywhere. He runs through bars and parties like a French waiter delivering dinner. He's on an eternal search to find the absolutely perfect setting with the perfect women and well, to find it one has to pretty much be everywhere.
And finally, we leave you with...
THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS CANADIAN.
Location: Whistler Situation: Holiday weekend. Result: Hammered. First of all, let's just start with the fact that he's a bartender. And as such, he knows a lot about shots. What he does not seem to understand is that shots are best saved for the night, to jump-start the mood or liven the atmosphere when suddenly surrounded by lively lovelies. They are not intended to be consumed during lunch, and certainly not on a beer-for-beer pace at Happy Hour. The real danger comes when he leaves the table and leans over the bar for a conversation with the bartender. That's when the REAL stuff starts flying around. Dangerous, man, dangerous.