When NOLA Nightlife Becomes A Blur
By Kevin Wilkerson, PubClub.com Nightlife Blogger
They come at you from out of nowhere, as if shot out of one of those t-shirt cannons.
And before you know it, they are pouring drinks down your throat in rapid-fire sequences so fast you don’t know what hit you until you emerge to catch your breath and are presented with the bill.
They are the tube shot girls of Bourbon Street and they will have you so turned around and confused that a minute later you’ll be looking at your suddenly-depleted cash supply while saying to the people next to you, “what just happened!?”
Well what happened is you just blew more than half your Bourbon Street budget in the time it takes to get one drink the the bar. I’m not immune to this myself; I spent $30 in 30 seconds and considered myself lucky it didn’t cost me twice as much in the process.
And believe me, I’ve seen that because these girls are, well, on the money when it comes to getting your money.
This is not a scam, by the way, like the people on Bourbon Street (and throughout the French Quarter) who say “nice shoes” hoping to make a bet with you about the origin of your shoes or the people handing out “smile patrol” cards and then demanding money for them.
No, these girls are legit. They are hired by the bars to walk around and offer customers alcohol shots served out of thin hard-plastic tubes. The shots are sweet stuff and downing one is hardly the same as doing, say, a shot of bourbon.
It’s how these girls go about it that makes them so effective and your cash disappear as if someone took a vacuum cleaner to your shorts and sucked the money right out of your pocket. They ambush you like moray eel does to a passing fish and the next thing you know, you’re in their grasp, unable to escape.
The “shots” are only $4-6 each, depending on the bar. But the shot girl grabs two, three or even four at a time and quite literally hold holds your head down while you’re downing them, often with the tubes coming of her mouth and into yours. If you’re watching this from a safe distance, it looks like the people are making out with each other.
And while you’re shaking that off, the girl pulls out more tubes, sticks them down her (sometimes ample) cleavage, holds your head down and, well there goes round two.
You don’t have time to think or even say “wow that was cool” before she has a few more tubes in her hand and puts them down inside the top of her shorts. Now I can tell you as a guy this is a difficult thing to turn down and some don’t, tho in my case I managed to extract myself from a beautiful blonde’s vice grip and emerged with my hair all over the place and a dazed look on my face.
What just happened!?
I must admit, tho, I had a smile on my face.
All the girls in all of the bars that have these shots do this and are so good at it that I’m convinced they teach this in a class at Tulane University.
And believe me, if you’re not careful they will take you to school on it.