You Bastards! Alabama Bans Sale of Dirty Bastard Beer

Who Are The Real Bastards Here, the State of Alabama’s ABC Board or the Brewers Who Named Their Beer? Both, Really

You can be a Fat Bastard or a Raging Bitch in the state of Alabama, but not a Dirty Bastard.

That’s because the board of the ABC Stores has rejected the sale of the latter, a beer, because it finds the name objectionable. Fat Bastard is okay because it’s a wine and sold only in state-controlled ABC Stores, not at grocery and convenience stores like beer.

Bob Martin, an attorney with the Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board said “that’s the whole reason for the rule, to keep dirty pictures and dirty words away from children.”

Okay, fair enough. Children should not be exposed to adult language (or photos or videos) until they are old enough to handle it. Say, as a junior in high school. But what about Raging Bitch, which is also a beer?

Apparently, that one slipped through the cracks several years ago. So while the intent is good, it’s unfair to Dirty Bastard not to be able to be on the shelf next to Raging Bitch.

So who are the real bastards here, the state ABC board or the beer makers?  To the ABC, either take them both off the shelves, or neither. To the brewer, name it something else, something less offensive. Personally, I’ve never been much in favor of those wild names that brewers often use to try and jump off the shelf or tap handle to consumers. Those bastard names usually have me turning to try something else (and not to anything with the word “arrogant” in it, either).

And keep this in mind: The number of kids even able to see beer labels of any kind is fairly small in Alabama because more than a third of the state’s 67 counties are dry. That’s right, they don’t even sell beer or any alcohol.

Just a thought here: Dirty Bastard is made in Michigan. And in September, the Michigan Wolverines play the defending national champion Alabama Crimson Tide to kick off the 2012 football season. Perhaps the ABC is just thinking ahead. Because if the Wolverines were to win, then they would most certainly be dirty bastards in they eyes of many football fans in Bama.