Reasons Steamy General Petraeus Love Affair Was Doomed to Fail

Guys Will Be Guys And Widening Sex Scandal Takes On Drama Of  Old Melrose Place TV Show

It was a nice try. Your military background served you well and your secret plan of operations was working to perfection.

You were having a love affair but were intelligent and savvy enough not to leave a trail of e-mails or pull a Tiger Woods and have her number in your cell phone and make calls while your wife is in the house. Instead, you devised a covert operation of messages by setting up an e-mail account, giving her the password, and passed along messages using the Draft folder.

Brilliant!

But you failed to take into account the actions of a jealous woman, one who is now a scored woman. And hell has no fury like a scorned woman.

You let your little head do the thinking for you. Hey, us guys can relate, but that doesn’t make it right, or certainly not smart. To be sure, Paula Broadwell is no saint. But you should have seen that coming like approaching army. This thing was doomed for failure, like the invasion of Iraq itself.

General David Petraeus, you have served your country well. But you have also caused it great embarrassment. How could you not see this was doomed for failure? Did you not know that having an affair with your biographer would end in a firefight? In all the time you spent with her for the book, could you not tell that she had a temper, was perhaps a little off her rocker, that perhaps she could be a tiny bit the jealous type?

Well now you know. And this thing is getting more juice than a Florida orange. You lover was accusing you of having an affair on top of yoru affair – were you!? – with a Tampa “socialite.” Who in turn might have been having an affair with your successor in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Heck, even the original FBI agent called into investigate is involved. He’s a friend of the Tampa “socialite” who was receiving angry e-mails from your lover, and he sent the lady in Tampa (not a cheerleader for the NFL Buccaneers, mind you, but a married mother of two), shirtless photos of himself. What, are all you guys Italian!?  Were you taking your cue from Silvio Berlusconi?

Suddenly, this thing has taken on the intrigue of the old Melrose Place TV show. Your lover is Heather “Don’t Mess With Me” Locklear, you’re Dr. Michael Mancini. The show provided such weekly drama that bars started hosting viewing parties. Maybe they will start doing the same whenever more news of your affair is revealed. Whenever news on the subject breaks, bars should do like the North End in Hermosa Beach, CA, does whenever there’s a car chase and have Happy Hour until the report is finished.

General Petraeus, you betrayed us, or at least our trust in his honor.

But hey, us guys can relate. Single or married, you proved that no matter with all your military accomplishments you are just like the rest of us. You often let your little head do the thinking for you.