By Kevin Wilkerson, PubClub.com Bar Blogger
I sometimes come across recently-single women who are “back on the market” after years of living the domestic life. They are recently divorced, have children and are looking to met men. Quality men, they say.
They want to get back into the bar scene but have no idea how to go about it. They say things like “I’ve not been to a bar in 20 years and would not know what to do or what to say.” Well ladies, I am here to help. Here are five tips on how to get back into the bar scene and the best ways to meet men in bars.
Before I start with my advice, tho, here’s a couple of thing to keep in mind. Most importantly, don’t be intimiated. Be confident. Enjoy the moments and the conversations. Bars do not have to be intimidating places and can provide entertaining opportunities to meet some quality men. If you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, you will attract attention.
It is also important to consider these factors:
• The woman’s ability to initiate and carry on a conversation (be positive, not negative)
• The woman’s appearance (dress in modern attire that fits the bar )
• The woman’s attitude (always smile and appear to be happy rather than having a dour facial expression)
• Be “bar smart.” By that, I mean survey the scene, identify the friendliest-looking men and take note of the situation. If you’ve not been to a bar in a while, you should pick up those skills fairly quickly if you are observant. If not, then you probably are better off meeting men elsewhere. Wine festivals are a good alternative.
And now onto the five tips on how women can meet men in bars.
1.) How To Choose The Right Type Of Bar To Meet Men
There are all types of bars and some are better than others for meeting men. I suggest avoiding the clubs and focusing instead on pubs or casual bars. Bars in restaurants are also great places to meet men; they generally have mature and professionally succesful men stop in for a couple of drinks and are not out to party. Some (many?) are also be divorced with children and are open to meeting a quality woman for a long-term relationship. Sports bars are also good places to meet quality men as well as bars with live music.
Avoid bars in suburban neighborhoods. The men there are generally married. Instead, seek out areas where there medium to upscale restaurants and casual bars. Look for bars with activities, such as a pool table, where you can ask to play a game. You can go to a wine bar. You won’t likely meet many men there but you might meet a woman in the same situation as you and together you can go out to meet men. A good time to go to bars is for Happy Hour or early evening, between 6-10 p.m.
I suggest picking three to five bars to visit on a regular basis. That way, you become familiar to the bartenders and staff, as well as other regular patrons, and after a while you fit into the scene.
2.) How To Feel Comfortable In A Bar Setting
If you do not feel comfortable in this environment here’s an easy tip to help you get over it: keep in mind that whenever you walk into a sports bar, you already have one thing in common with everyone in there. And that is the fact that you are in the same place at the same time, so there is a mutual interest in something.
3.) How To Choose Your Seat To Meet Men In A Bar
It’s always best to set at the bar rather than at a table. If you are at a table you are isolated and are pretty much telling the men to leave you alone. Most available men will be sitting at the bar. They are either alone or with just one or two friends. It’s easy to lean over and start a conversation when you’re next to someone at a bar. Pick a seat next to someone you would like to meet or a spot with a couple of open barstools where men could walk in later and sit down. It’s okay to move around a bit if there’s no suitable opportunities around you. Here, start a conversation with the bartender. If you go back a few times to the same bar and the same bartenders are working, you become “bar friends.” That should help you feel comfortable.
4.) How To Initiate Conversations With Men In Bars
Every situation is different but here are some examples of how to start a conversation with men in bars:
• Be observant. If a man is watching sports on a TV, ask if he is a fan of that team. Maybe he’s wearing a polo shirt with a company logo; ask him about it. Comment about what he is drinking (example: “what kind of whiskey/wine/beer do you like?”).
• Be prepared to respond to him if he initiates a conversation. He could ask about what you are drinking. If he offers to buy you a drink, accept it if you like him and want to continue to talk with him. If not, politely decline (example: “no I’m good, thank you tho)”.
• Ask a man sitting next to you if he knows where the bathroom is located. You may not need to go to the bathroom, but it’s a conversation starter that will always get a response.
• If you’re at a bar with live music, use that to start a conversation. Something as simple as “I love this song,” or “this band is great” may all you need to meet a quality man.
• Don’t limit your conversations to men. If women are in there talk to them, as well. That will show men you are a conversationalist and will also help loosen you up a bit as far as talking to strangers.
5.) Timing Your Conversations
Be smart about the situation. If the man is on the phone, occupied or intensely watching a sporting event, don’t interrupt him. Instead, pick a time when he’s sitting there doing nothing, looking around the bar or always picking up his phone for only a couple seconds at a time. That’s a sign he’s bored and that’s when he is most open to having a conversation.
Bonus Tip: Avoid The Loud, Obnoxious Men
If you encounter one of the worst examples of men, the loud and obnoxious man, stay clear of that person. They are usually barrel chested sometimes holding a stogie who have an inflated opinion of themselves and are rude to the point they don’t care they are causing a scene.
You can, tho, sometimes this situation as a conversation piece with others by saying “that person is so obnoxious he’s ruining this bar.”
Kevin Wilkerson is an award-winning journalist writer has spent a lot of time in bars researching content for PubClub.com. This story was written by a human without any assistance from AI or ChatGTP.
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