By Kevin Wilkerson, PubClub.com Bar Blogger
I often have women ask me where they can meet men. I am always surprised by this question because men are everywhere. Then they clarify that to say “quality men.” Now, I can hardly control the caliber of men out there but one place where you are guaranteed to find us are in sports bars. They are full of men – especially during football season – and generally are passionate people and are of all age groups.
It may seem like a lot but don’t feel pressured. Just enjoy the moments and the conversations. Sports bars are not intimidating places and provide fun opportunities to meet some quality men.
There are two types of sports bars, ones that show a bunch of sports of all types and others that show specific teams, such as college football alumni bars. This article can apply ot both, but is really meant to apply to the latter. It is important to know beforehand that sports bars, particularly those catering to fans of one particular team, can be loud and lively. You must bring the same energy to the scene.
So here are five tips to help women met men in sports bars. This article is for women in their 30s-plus who haven’t been out in a while, are back on the market, so to speak, and want to tap into the rich treasures of available men in sports bars. There are also contributing factors that can separate the winners from losers, to use a sports term. Those include:
• The woman’s ability to initiate and carry on a conversation (be positive, not negative)
• The woman’s appearance (dress in attire that gets into the spirit of the bar)
• The woman’s attitude (always smile and appear to be happy rather than having a dour facial expression)
• Be “bar smart.” By that, I mean survey the scene, identify the friendliest-looking men and take note of the situation. If you’ve not been to a bar in a while, you should pick up those skills fairly quickly if you are observant. If not, then you probably are better off meeting men elsewhere. Wine festivals are a good alternative.
• The woman’s interest (real or pretended) in the game
And now onto the five tips on how women can meet men in sports bars.
1.) How To Feel Comfortable In A Sports Bar Setting
If you do not feel comfortable in this environment here’s an easy tip to help you get over it: keep in mind that whenever you walk into a sports bar, you already have one thing in common with everyone in there. And that is the fact that you are in the same place at the same time, so there is a mutual interest in something.
2.) How To Choose Your Seat To Meet Men In A Sports Bar
It’s always best to sit at the bar rather than at a table. If you are at a table you are isolated and are pretty much telling the men to leave you alone. Most available men will be sitting at the bar. They are either alone or with just one or two friends. It’s easy to lean over and start a conversation when you’re next to someone at a bar. Pick a seat next to someone you would like to meet or a spot with a couple of open barstools where men could walk in later and sit down. It’s okay to move around a bit if there’s no suitable opportunities around you. Here, start a conversation with the bartender. If you go back a few times to the same bar and the same bartenders are working, you become “bar friends.” That should help you feel comfortable.
If all the barstools are occupied and there is a spot open at a table with people, ask if you can join them. Usually, this is where small groups of people sit. They may be friends or they may be spouses but check the numbers; there may be single man whose friends are anxious for him to find someone. People in sports bars are generally friendly and will let you take a seat. Of course, don’t do this if there are an even number of men and women at a table as they are most likely couples.
3.) Either Do Research Beforehand On The Team Or Play Dumb
There are two approaches here: act educated about a particular team or play completely dumb. Either way can work. For the former, you can jump right into a situation – say a team scores a touchdown and people are cheering – by knowing a team’s traditions, it’s fight song and so forth. For the latter, a great ice-breaker is to ask a man you’re sitting next to about the team and its traditions. Men like to be in control and show off their knowledge and this is an ideal way to feed into their sports ego.
Another thing you can do is to learn some college football trivia. Your knowledge in some of these areas will really impress a man.
4.) How To Initiate Conversations In Sports Bars
Every situation is different but here are some examples of how to start a conversation with men in sports bars:
• Pregame: “I am so looking forward to this game!”
If you are playing dumb: “I don’t know anything about this team but have heard a lot about it. Can you tell me something about it so I’ll know what to look for and do during the game?” (Note: teams, particularly college ones, have certain traditions, such as Alabama fans saying “Roll Tide,” Penn State fans saying “We Are,” Michigan fans chanting “Go Blue!,” and Florida fans doing the Gator “chomp.”)
• If someone asks if you are from a particular city or state (in other words, why are you here watching this particular team) don’t lie. Just say, “no, I’m just a fan of this team” or “I just came in here because it looks like a fun place.”
• Comment on various plays, good and bad ones, out loud but not toooo loud. On a referee’s no-call, turn to the people next to you and say “I can’t believe they didn’t throw a flag,!” or”first down!,” after a big first down. That’s for football, of course, but the same principal applies to all sports. If you are unsure of when to do these things, the cheers or sounds of agony of the others will be your cue.
• Ask a man sitting next to you if he knows where the bathroom is located. You may not need to go to the bathroom, but it’s a conversation starter that will always get a response.
• After the team scores a touchdown, join the “high fives” that often happen in big moments. Say “that was GREAT!,” or something along those lines. This is super easy and can get you “in” with a man. The easiest way to learn this is just to watch the other people and do what they do after big moments.
• Don’t limit your conversations to men. If women are in there talk to them, as well. That will show men you are a conversationalist and will also help loosen you up a bit as far as talking to strangers.
• It is not necessary to wear a team’s jersey or shirt, but it can help start a conversation. DO NOT ever wear the jersey or colors of the other team if it’s a bar dedicated to showing the games of a particular team.
5.) Timing Your Conversations
Be smart about the game and the situation. If it’s loud and fans are staring at the TV with a concerned look on their faces, then it’s probably not a good time to talk to someone. Choose your moments. Pregame, during commercials and halftime are safe times to say something. If you try to talk to a man during a critical play then you will forever be known as “that woman who interrupted me during that pick-6 against Tennessee!”
Bonus Tip: Avoid The Loud, Obnoxious Sports Fan
If you go to a sports bar then you may well encounter one of the worst examples men: the loud and obnoxious sports fan. Stay clear of that person (or persons) and heck, you can even use it as a conversation piece with others by saying “that person is so obnoxious he’s ruining this game.”
Kevin Wilkerson is an award-winning sports writer who has covered Alabama, Auburn, Clemson and South Carolina as a newspaper reporter and has spent a lot of time watching games in sports bars. This story was written by a human without any assistance from AI or ChatGTP.
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