By The Bartender, PubClub.com’s LA Roving Party Animal
My maid has a cell phone.
Maybe that’s not such a big deal but it is an indicator of everyday life in Los Angeles. She uses it like a sales person, calling almost weekly to set up her next appointment and attempting to guilt-trip me into scheduling her for more visits. (I’m holding out for her to start offering frequent-flier miles for every dish she washes.)
Cell phones are the single person’s lifeblood here. It’s used to keep in touch with friends to find the best house party, to gather people at a bar or to tell a date you’re late because of traffic and, of course, to place all your comings and goings on social media. I also use it to put in the phone number of a girl I’ve just met. As an added bonus, I call her to make sure I have the right number (hey, it’s LA and there’s a lot of fraud here of the singles kind) so has also has mine. Then I’m able to know who it is when she calls.
I do, wish, though, phones would have a time/date stamp when entering a number. In L.A.’s singles scene, it’s easy to collect a phone book full of numbers.
Here’s the biggest reason there’s such a significant number of singles in L.A.: There’s so many unattached people, especially in “talent rich” places like Manhattan Beach that there’s always someone else who comes along at some point. People figure – rightly or wrongly – that if it doesn’t work out with this person, there’s always someone else who will quickly fill any void.
And here’s my biggest tip if you don’t want to be single: Don’t go to the Beach Cities. That’s where this kind of attitude is most prevalent and long-term relationship are as difficult to find as cheap Laker tickets.
There are other quirks about living in L.A. that are completely foreign to life anywhere else on this planet. For instance, traffic on the freeways suddenly stops without warning. You can be happily buzzing along when all of a sudden – BAM! Gridlock. Bumper to bumper. A couple of miles later, it’s all gone,without a trace or even a hint as to what even caused the slowdown. This can happen any time of the day or night.
Then there’s the lack of an attention span among the people. One minute, a particular idea or item is the greatest thing since double espresso, but as soon as something else comes along, it’s as outdated as Mel Gibson.
Staying on top of these things separates the single boys from the men.
Living here involves being on the cutting edge of technology.
Angelenos must always have the most powerful computer, the latest software, the hottest gadgets, the newest cellular phone and be dressed in the most fashionable fashions.
Trendy is not a word here, it’s an obsession. These toys are paid for exclusively by credit card; we would rather have the cell service go down than be caught at the store with a checkbook.
Not playing by these rules means L.A. can be a very big, lonely place for singles.
We complain about anything that’s not perfect: The bread at a high-priced restaurant, seats not being in the field level when someone gives us tickets to a Dodgers game, getting a table away from the action at a Hollywood club when we decide to go there, that kind of thing.
Yet despite our shortcomings, we do have one positive attribute that practically no other place in the world can claim. Something so wonderful that it keeps us here and more than makes up for any traffic the 405 can dish out. And the odd thing about it is that in this land of riches where money does indeed buy many people’s happiness, it is free.
It’s sunshine.
Los Angeles has, without peer, the world’s best weather. It’s sunny something like 325 days a year. Temperatures are consistently in the 70s with never a hint of humidity. It’s Bliss with a capital “B.”
This is where this city really shines – literally and figuratively. It’s where the endless suntans come from, the “yesterday was sunny, today is sunny and tomorrow is sunny” attitude it born and where social-minded people get out an meet each other.
The beaches are the best. Volleyball on the sand, rollerblading, running, biking – it’s all within easy reach. (Surfing takes quite a bit of skill, but boogie boarding is within easier reach of aquatic squids).
And with that beach comes beachside bars, which fill up late in afternoons with thirsty patrons who have earned their drinks. Not all are fortunate enough to live by the sea and indeed many don’t wish to do so. And, frankly, so be it.
But for me, my advice for those looking for love in this city – or at least lust – head to the beach! After all, it’s an Endless Summer here. Might as well take advantage of it.
The Bartender can be reached at bartender@pubclub.com.
PubClub.com covers nightlife, bars, festivals and party events around the world. This post provides a local’s perspective of L.A.