A Man’s Viewpoint Of The Oscars: Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give A Damn
My friend is having an Academy Awards party.
She’s so excited she’s giddy. It’s all she’s talked about for a week.
To attend, she requires everyone get there before the red carpet, that they toss $5 into a pot and fill out ballots for the winners of all the categories. She treats it as if it were a Super Bowl party.
And frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
This is a difference of the sexes. Girls love movies – romantic tear-jerkers, ideally with Meryl Streep in some an over-dramatic, sappy role – while guys would prefer to watch a mid-season meaningless NBA game.
“Go see a move? But honey, the Warriors are on tonite!”
And thus, guys with girlfriends are drug – or drugged, as in influenced by Happy Hours – to the theater to watch movies for two weeks leading up to the Oscars. They have to feign interest in the movies to appease their girlfriend, knowing if they don’t, they will be cut off from sex until after the awards. And perhaps forever.
Then they have to go to someone’s house to watch the Academy Awards show with other girls as the gals coo over the ugly actresses in so-so gowns and bitch at the hot ones who show cleavage and sex appeal on the red carpet.
During all this, the guys are in the kitchen drinking as much beer as they can handle and only turn to the TV when the girls scream out, “oh, how TRAMPY!”
Guys put up with this because we know relationships are all about give and take. And we also know that in another three weeks we will have our own version of the Oscars.