The Pigskin Prognosticator Examines Alabama, USC, Ohio State And Other Top (And Not) Teams
By The Pigskin Prognosticator, PubClub.com’s College Football Blogger
College football is nearly upon us – kickoff is actually this week with Oregon State at Colorado on Saturday (11:30 a.m., PT, CBSSN) and Stanford at Rice (7 p.m., ESPN). Most schools, however, begin next weekend.
And that means a special bonus from the Pigskin Prognosticator, the foremost authority in college football. Each week, this mysterious man evaluates the biggest games in his unique style based on his years of experience and observations. I may not always be right each week, but when I say a team is going to lose, it’s eventually going to lose.
I am kicking off this year with a new feature, a rundown of the top teams, the ones most likely to disappoint, the ones who will do pretty much what we expect and what we will learn about some marquee teams throughout the season.
It cuts through the BS of the others out there to provide you the real scoop on several top (and not) teams.
College Football’s Top Teams Rundown
• Alabama. If you’ve got Bama Fatigue then you might as well go on vacation during college football season. Alabama is going to be better this year than last year. The offense will be dynamic and almost unstoppable while the defense replaces past NFL draft picks with future NFL draft picks. And the coaching; well it’s the best in the business. We’ll sure find out how goo this team is in a hurry – the Tide plays Florida State on Labor Day Weekend.
• Clemson. Just because Deshawn Watson left, don’t count out these cats. Dabo has reloaded the Tigers like Saban has the Tide. As a result, we could have Bama-Clemson III in the National Championship game.
• Florida State. This is (supposedly) the year all those Jimbo Fisher recruits come into their own. The Spears are to have a sensational defense, let by ferocious defensive ends. But FSU lost 63-20 to Louisville last year and couldn’t beat North Carolina – do they have those kinds of performances in them this year?
• Ohio State. Okay Brutus, so you look like a brute against the Big 10, then can’t even score against Clemson. And sometimes you’re as ugly as those awful uniforms you wear on occasion. But you win a bunch of close games and are always there at the end so we all have to put you here as one of college football’s top teams.
• Washington. Solid coaching, QB Jake Browning and avoiding USC with a non-conference schedule consisting of Rutgers, Montana and Fresno State will keep this team in the playoff picture all season.
College Football’s Biggest Disappointing Teams Rundown
• Ole Miss. The Rebels managed to achieve this status before training camp even started, which is quite an achievement. The Prognosticator is calling this The Great Hugh Freeze-Out because this coach who talked about religion and the “keeds” on the football team was fired for making calls to escort services while on recruiting trips. On the university’s phone! Dude, buy a disposable cell! Already on self-imposed probation for recruiting violations with more coming from the NCAA, this team is a boiling kettle ready to implode. It’s all a matter of when it will happen. The Rebels do have a prolific offense and will score (as often as their former coach, hahhh!) but a complete mental collapse is inevitable.
USC. Tommy Trojan has company. USC has erected a female statue, Hecuba (as in Harold Hecuba for all you Gilligan’s Island fans out there) at USC Village north of campus. What USC wants to do is put another Heisman Trophy in Heritage Hall, and it’s got the nation’s top preseason candidate for it, QB Sam Darnold, the darling boy of Troy. The problem for Troy is the poor guy may throw out his arm trying to keep pace with what the other team is doing on offense.The Prognosticator can’t forget that eye-covering defense in the Rose Bowl last year. The schedule is as tender as a sunburned shoulder but there’s a lot of question marks with this team, not the least of which is Clay Helton a true big-time college coach.
• Auburn/Texas A&M. The Prognosticator lumps these two teams together because they are identical and they are always overrated by the media. That’s because they run that high school offense and the media is still fooled into thinking the flukes Scam Newton and Johnny Football are the quarterbacks. It actually works to some degree for the Aggies but last year it was downright ugly for the people down on the Plains. Of course, the Auburn people are looking to yet another transfer quarterback to be their savior. But he quit at Baylor and has yet to face an SEC pass rush. Look for more of the 8-4s these teams seem to deliver under these coaches.
• Penn State. That had to be a fluke, right? Beating Ohio State, catching fire late in the season, making it to the Rose Bowl? Surely it can’t happen again.
• Michigan. The Wolverines are going to be a disappointment only because of the Harbaugh hype the past two years. It’s going to be a “down” year in an otherwise upswing in the program. This is primarily due to an offense that could be not Big Blue again, but black and blue.
• Oklahoma. Well, because they always are and who knows if this new guy can actually be a head coach.
• LSU. Coach O is about to prove that what he did at Ole Miss was no fluke.
The ‘They Are Who We Know They Are’ Teams
• Tennessee. UT is nothing more than a 9-4 team under Butch(er) Jones. Here’s the bottom line on Tennessee this year: UT fans are afraid of losing to Kentucky. And also to Vanderbilt. That tells you all you need to know right there about the state of the program.
• Arizona, Arizona State, Notre Dame. Same as always under these coaches. Crappy.
The ‘Only Time Will Tell’ Teams
• Oklahoma State. A few people have the Cowboys corralling their way into the College Football Playoff. Why? Because the Pokes will race up and down the field as if they were in the Indy 500. But they could also run out of gas short of the finish line, as well as getting lapped a few times by teams that are in a higher gear due to a defense that will give up more big plays than T. Boone Pickens has oil wells.
• Florida. There are some who are reporting from Florida’s camp that this team has “Florida-like” speed at the offensive skill positions, that it’s going to chomp down on unsuspecting opponents. First, tho, the team needs to find a quarterback.
Texas. Is Bevo back, or is this year another tease, despite a new coach?
• Wisconsin. Shhh – this could be the Big 10’s sleeper team!
• UCLA. If Josh Rosen can run from opposing defenses as good as as he runs his mouth, then maybe the Baby Bears will be a threat in the Pac-12. And with that offensive line, he may be doing a lot of running. Perhaps the receivers can actually catch passes this year rather than dropping them as if the balls were bear traps. What to expect? Much of the same, an up-and-down team that has earned them the Prognosticator’s nickname of the Trampolines, tho with a few more high bounces this year.