Ol’ Jimbo is almost gone-bo, the mess at Michigan is getting deeper than JJ McCarthy can throw the long ball, Lincoln Riley has made the first CYA move while at USC, Oklahoma has succumbed to Bellam, Texas has pulled off another Houdini escape and the Ducks are quacking in Oregon.
As college football heads into Week 11, one top team plays its first real opponent, another one looks to give a fat lip to a big-lipped coach, yet another one needs to be on upset alert and two in the Pacific Northwest hope to stay as tall as the redwoods.
Now onto this week’s games. All times Pacific because The Prognosticator lives on the West Coast.
Michigan at Penn State (9 a.m., FOX)
It has taken until Week 11 before Big Blue finally plays a team with a pulse. Although it can be argued that under Not So Big Game James the Pennsylvania Felines are not exactly too livey against Top 10 teams (record: 3-16). With 3/4 of the season to tune up for the game the Sign Stealers have had plenty of practice reps and even get the fanatic PSU fans rubbing their eyes with a Noon start instead of at night. If the Franklin Forces find an offense against a quality opponent then they can make it interesting. In which case the Weasels would have to “steal” this one to remain unbeaten. Winner: Penn State
Alabama at Kentucky (9 a.m., ESPN)
After stomping LSU, the Pachyderms do not walk quietly as they go grocery shopping at Kroger Field. Win and they bag the SEC West title and while the Kentucky Felines are not scratching out wins like in recent years, there are factors that should have the Red Elephants on high upset alert. For one, the game is being played at a time the team is usually having breakfast. The temperature at kickoff, about 40 degrees, will almost be like being in the freezer isle. Once they get warmed up, tho, they will check out with the W. Winner: Alabama
Miami at Florida State (12:30 p.m., CBS)
It has been tough for the Spears to keep thier attention playing the likes of Pitt, Wake Forest and Virginia Tech. That has also made it difficult to assess this team, so we must rely on the memories of the second half season opener against LSU. Miami is a lot easier to evaluate. It’s what the program has been the past 20-plus years. In the preseason we hear warnings of a huge Hurricane season only to have it ever develop to nothing more than a few weater spouts. Unless it’s been holding back something for a huge surge, it won’t deliver than a few sprinkles in Tallahasee. Winner: Florida State
Utah at Washington (12:30 p.m., FOX)
The Sailgaters have been navigating stormy waters of late and are hoping for calm conditions on Lake Washington against the tough-minded but often undermanned men from the Beehive State. They should find it, tho there is the possiblity that they will overlook any rogue waves that might pass their way and if that’s the case, then they could be back in hot water. Winner: Washington
Ole Miss at Georgia (4 p.m., CBS)
Perhaps if Lame Kiffin ever grows beyond the maturity level of a 6-year-old, then the Rebels (or whatever team he may be coaching at the time) will have a chance to win big games like this one. As it stands now, he can’t keep his hands off the social media keybord or his mouth from lobbing insults at the opposing coach (his latest punk kid comment, about Jimbo’s team: “A&M’s done a great job of collecting players. So congratulations to their group that collected these guys”). Try that with Coach Kirby and he will get kicked in his behind so hard he will be smarting in his britches. That’s the feeling his team will have after this one. Winner: Georgia
Michigan State at Ohio State (4:30 p.m., NBC)
Sparty showed a bit of spark last week but this year is one that is best spent in the mechanic’s shop getting a complete overhaul. It’s been like driving an old pickup truck with a smoking engine and four bald tires. Taking this clunker on a road trip to Cbus is just asking for another breakdown. Their lone chance is if they happen to catch the Nuts off in the scrapyard looking to piece together an offense. But not even that will be enough. Winner: Ohio State
Arizona State at UCLA (6 p.m., Pac-12)
The Tramplolines, which are surprisingly offensively challenged but seem to be pretty good on defense, will bounce back up this week against the other team from the Grand Canyon State. Winner: UCLA
USC at Oregon (7:30 p.m., FOX)
The first of Lincon’s logs has yelled “timber!,” as the defensive coordinator is out but a late-season change does not solve two seasons of poor alignment, bad angles and missed tackles. It is upon this scene that the Waddlers thrive, tho they are going to have their wings full trying to stop the Men of Troy’s relentless attack. The problem is, those men can’t stop an attack and that’s going to keep them from conquering the Pick. Winner: Oregon