College Football Week 5 Picks & Predictions From The Pigskin Prognosticator

Winners & Losers For Late September Games

By The Pigskin Prognosticator, PubClub.com College Football Blogger

Central Florida’s season has hit the Pitts, Notre Dame now needs to wake up the playoff committee as well as some echoes, Utah has proven to be another Pac-12 blip on the radar and the Big Dawgs from Athens overcame their big-game nervous nature to pull one out ‘tween the hedges.

And then there’s UCLA, which can go from being the most boring team in the land to the most exciting in the flash of a punt return.

Onto this week’s games. All times are listed in the Pacific Time Zone because The Pigskin Prognosticator lives on the West Coast.

Friday, Sept. 27

Penn State at Maryland (5 p.m., FS1)

The Crazy-Colored Helmets seemed to be a Locksley for a successful season but then they got their temples knocked about against Temple and are looking to rebound against a bunch of Mountain Lions making their way down from the Alleghenys. The Terps offense can be both the tortoise and the hare, and figuring out which one will show up on Saturday is not exactly as easy as finding a crab cake in Baltimore. The Felines nearly had their fur pulled out against Pittsburgh and are going to have to dig their claws into the hard shells of their hosts to pull out this one. Winner: Penn State

Arizona State at Cal (7:30 p.m., ESPN)

The Referee Bowl features teams that benefitted from controversial Pac-12 officials calls (or non-calls) the past two weeks and when they meet on the Berkley turf there is no telling what the zebras will pull out of their pockets. Keeping in step with the Pac-12’s policy of an early-season undefeated team losing just as it starts to gain some national attention, the Prognosticator is going with the Sunny Pitchforks. Winner: Arizona State

Saturday, Sept. 28

Rutgers at Michigan (9 a.m., Big 10 Network)

Big Blue is all black and blue after being badgered at Wisconsin and heads back to the Big House where, er, it nearly lost to Army the last time it was on the field. Wasn’t Jim Harbaugh supposed to be the savior of Michigan football? Fortunately for the hosts, the Knights are like seeing rays of sunshine at the end of a dark tunnel. It won’t always be pretty to watch but a win is a win, even tho beating Rutgers will be like putting lipstick on a wounded wolverine. Winner: Michigan

Northwestern at Wisconsin (9 a.m., ABC)

Bucky Badger is getting a real workout with all those pushups after Wisconsin touchdowns and he won’t be getting any breaks this week against the visiting felines from Chicago. Any team that surrendered 31 points to offensively-challenged Michigan State is going to be easy pickings for a squad that flattens defenses like construction workers do pavement on a highway. The Steamrollers are going to make flat cats of the Wildcats and Bucky had better get a lot of rest before Saturday. Winner: Wisconsin

Texas A&M vs Arkansas (9 a.m., Jerry’s World, ESPN)

The Cadets soldier into Jerry’s World against an opponent that is playing like pigs wallowing in the mud. The sloppy Hogs are a mess and the soldiers from College Station won’t even need an 11th Man, let alone a 12th Man, to hog-tie this opponent. This game is just what the Jimbo ordered because the $75 million cowboy boots coach has been cashing a lot of big checks but hasn’t been cashing in wins during the big games.  Against the pathetic Piglets, tho, the A&M in the Aggies name will stand for Ammunition and Mutilation. Winner: Texas A&M

Ole Miss at Alabama (12:30 p.m., CBS)

The Pachyderms no longer need to worry about seeing a mouse when they face Ole Miss, for the old-school Southerners haven’t been able to muster a capable fighting force since the Hugh Freeze-out put the program on the SEC’s back burner. They now face the strong tides of the Tua Tsunami that will soak their Hottie Toddies with wave after wave of points that will send them back to Oxford without a paddle. In an interesting side note, Ole Miss Offensive Coordinator Rich “Lightening” Rod will get a chance to see what he turned down before the Tide got Saban. Winner: Alabama

Clemson at North Carolina (12:30 p.m., ABC)

The Ferocious Felines pounce into charming Chapel Hill and if the Heels hope to have any chance, Mack Brown better see if he can get a powder blue uniform for Vince Young.  The Basketball Bluebloods are in for a mauling that may have Brown thinking he’s a heel for returning to the Tar Heels. Winner: Clemson

Virginia at Notre Dame (12:30 p.m., NBC)

The Irish eyes are not smiling after their defeat to the Dogs and they better not take a cavalier attitude with the unbeaten Cavaliers coming to town. The Royalists are a royal 4-0 but they nearly got their royal butts kicked last week by the royalist Monarchs from Old Dominion, and with the Domers looking to make up for some lost poll points, this game is going to be a royal pain for the Virginians. Winner: Notre Dame

USC at Washington (12:30 p.m., FOX)

Down to their third quarterback the Trojans continue to Fight On, while Hot Seat Helton is proving to have as many lives as a cat. The Men From Troy are starting to develop that trampoline mentally that was so symbolic of their cross-town rivals for so many years; just when you think they are down, they bounce back up and surprise you. This has the Huskies on high alert, tho their weekly fortunes rest on a good Jacob Eason or a bad Jacob Eason. The Seattle weather may be the bigger factor, for the sunny Southern Californians have never liked playing in cool conditions.  Winner: Washington

Mississippi State at Auburn (4 p.m., ESPN)

The Gus Bus arrived back on the Plains in fine working order after barely getting a scratch on it during a road trip to Jimbo’s outdoor barbeque and is now parked in a shady corner of Jordan-Hare. The hair of the Dogs arrive to try and ruffle the feathers of the high-flying Birds but they don’t have enough of a bite to fight their way past those big birds on the D line. Winner: Auburn

Ohio State at Nebraska (4:30 p.m., ABC)

Things are getting a bit Frost-y in Nebraska and the Nuts roll into Lincoln as hot as a roasting furnace. This will result in an offensive explosion for the visitors that will leave the Shuckers crawling back into their husks for cover. Winner: Ohio State

UCLA at Arizona (7:30 p.m., ESPN)

Is it safe to declare that the Trampolines are back? The Baby Bears suddenly woke up last week and looked like a grizzly tearing through the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. Historical logic dictates they fall back on their faces this week, but they have the benefit of playing the Slumbering Sumlins. The Zonies often play like zombies under their smug head coach and this game will keep the bounce in the Bruins’ step. Winner: UCLA

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