Editor’s Note: Texas A&M did not hire PubClub’s college football blogger as head coach. After boosters and alumni went ballistic over Mark Stoops the school made the safe way and hired Mike Elko of Duke.
Hey Texas A&M, over here.
I’ve got your next head football coach and he won’t come with a $77 million buyout (tho, if you are dumb enough to put one in a contract, he will most certainly accept it).
Your next head coach is…me!
Yes, me. Look, I may have no coaching experience beyond pickup games but with the amount of talent on that roster, I could at least match Jimbo Fisher’s record. He was barly over .500 the past three years – and with the non-conference schedule you guys play that’s about as simple as walking ono the field – and didn’t win a road game in two years. The Aggies have a nine-game road losing streak that is tied for the program’s longest since the AP poll began in 1936. I could do that as your head coach.
I could also go 19-15 overall, 10-13 against SEC teams and 12-14 against Power 5 teams, Fisher’s record the past three years. I could go 5-7 – 8-4 in a “good” year – and 6-4 this year with the NFL-caliber talent on that roster.
In announcing the deccision – attempting to justify paying a guy more to not coach ($77 million) than it did to actually have him coach ($50 million), really – Athletic Director Ross Bjork said the school has all the resources for a coach to succeed. It has the money (obviously), the facilities and certainly one of the most loyal fan bases in all of college football. Certainly the loudest. So why not me? I could hardy do worse than be average, which is what A&M was in six years under ‘ol Jimbo.
Here are my qualifications:
• I won’t have a $77 million buyout.
• I’m not too pigheaded to demand calling the offensive plays myself.
• I would take the Nick Saban and Bear Bryant approach to winning by hiring quality assistant coaches and let them coach.
• I am very good with the media. I have sat on the other side of the podium many times hearing coaches and athletic directors try to explain failures and questionable decisions so I know what the people in those chairs are thinking. That can be a big advantage to you because generating positive press coverage creates an overall positive attitude around the program.
• I’m an SEC guy. I grew up in Big Orange Country, went to Alabama (home of champions, by the way) and have been to nearly every stadium in the league. I know the fans, I know the culture and I know what it takes to win in the SEC.
So you see, you can’t go wrong with me. I’ll even be here in another four years when you fire the coach you’re going to hire this time because the program is still “stuck in neutral.”