Sound Advice For The NFL’s Rookie Receivers

Being Humble Doesn’t Get The Big Contracts Here

They have yet to play a down, yet they come in as heralded superstars, team saviors, players that will lead their team to a championship.

But in order for them to succeed, they need to learn a few things that don’t involve working with the quarterback on timing, running precise routes or studying the tendencies of the opposing defenses.

Instead, I am offering this sound advice for the NFL’s rookie receivers.

The first thing they have to understand about being a successful receiver in the NFL is that you can’t be  humble. You can’t compliment the other team, say the defensive backs you are facing the upcoming week are the best in the league or comment that you are just trying to blend in and will do anything to help the team win.

No, you have to follow the lead of the other receivers in the NFL.

First of all, you have to hold out for a bigger contract. Say that you are disrespected by management.

Then, once you take the field, you have to glare at the quarterback for not throwing you the ball on every down to pad your stats, complain to the media about it – better yet, get into a sideline shouting match with the head coach or offensive coordinator on the sideline – complain to the media some more, ignore the media, and when do you make a catch, make gestures that you are the one and only one who made it happen.

Even if it’s a four-yard curl pattern on third and three.

Oh, and most importantly, to back all this up, you need to make a backward one-handed, did-you-see-that SportsCenter Best Plays catch. Ideally on a Sunday or Monday night game.

You must also grow your hair long and style it in dreadlocks. This will make you a superstar, even if you sign with the Cleveland Browns. Perception is everything, you know.

You see, this is the way to succeed as a receiver in today’s NFL. You can’t go in all polite and respectful of others. You need to be like the veterans, which is to say you have to act as if you are the most important person in the history of the franchise.

Even if you have a terrible rookie season, pretend it’s somebody else’s fault. Point your glove-sticky fingers at the management. Fans always are quick to blame those who are in charge of drafting players and choosing coaches, so you’re off the hook. Until after you are traded, of course.

Just be sure and make that signature catch.

Good luck.