With Bars & Nightclubs Closed Due To The COVID-19 Shutdowns, They Are The Only Places To Meet Other Singles. But Keep Your Social Distance!
The tall, thin and beautiful blonde stood a few people in front of me in a line to get into a business.
She wore tight workout pants that showed off her small and shapely behind, as taught as ripe cantaloupes.
The girl was just the kind that any single guy would walk over to when out on a Friday or Saturday night and immediately try a out pickup line in attempt to start a conversation. But instead of waiting to get into a bar or nightclub, we were in line at Ralph’s.
And so, welcome to the COVID-19 shutdown life, where grocery stores are the new nightclubs. With no nightlife, and even public places like beaches and parks closed throughout much of the world in this #stayhome culture, the only place where we can potentially meet other single people is at the grocery stores.
Of course, there are challenges here that don’t exist in bars and nightclubs. For starters, we’re supposed to keep six apart from each other and while that’s difficult to do at all times in any shopping environment, the protocol now is not to linger around anyone.
You can’t hit on a girl while at the same time practicing social distancing.
Let’s use the blonde in Ralph’s as an example. It took a few more minutes to get into the store than her, which meant I had to go try and find her. And indeed there she was, in the milk and juice section. Yes!
But then what? I’m pretty good at opening lines but nothing came to mind. What would I say? “Hey, lots of orange juice on the shelves today. Glad to see people aren’t hoarding it like toilet paper!”
Even it prompted a small laugh, what would be next? Follow her around and offer to put grocery items in her basket before inviting her over for a dinner date? Chances are she would have walked away after a few seconds. Social distancing, you know.
And you can’t predict when single people will be in the grocery store. In a bar or nightclub, you pretty much know a timeframe when others will be out in certain spots. PubClub.com actually provides nightlife reviews like no other site by posting which bars are the busiest at different times and nights of the week.
Still, with all the bars and nightclubs closed until further notice, we do need someplace that’s like going to a bar, and that’s the grocery store.
Until further notice.