Unlike Some, This Blogger KNOWS Why He’s Not Yet Married Or In a Long-Term Relationship
There comes a time in everyone’s life when you turn around and say, “hey, what happened!?”
Everything is moving along smoothy – you’ve got a decent job, great friends, go to fun events and have a healthy and long-term romantic situation – and then you suddenly notice one (or more) of those things is gone. Vanished. Disappeared faster than Lindsay Lohan Venice jewlery store.
In my case, just one of those things has abandoned me, the long-term romance. I’m sitting here somewhere north of 40 and am somehow still single.
How did that happen!?
I’ve certainly had my chances to get married. I’m well educated, have strong family values, a lively sense of humor and hardly look like “The Face” at Alabama basketball games.
Yet I remain as unattached as a hot dog wrapper at a baseball stadium. Why? That’s a question many people are asking of themselves these days, and a gal named Siggy Flicker even has a show on VHI called Why Am I Still Single?
Some people just can’t seem to figure it out, but I KNOW why I’m still single. And here’s here’s 10 Reasons:
1.) I Screwed Up. Okay, I admit it. There were girls that I just flat-out messed up with when we were dating.
The one that stands out the most was a lovely gal named Gina. We hit it off instantly and this had “long-term loveship” written all over it. But on only our third date, when she wanted to stay home and roll around on the floor in front of the fireplace, I insisted we go out to hear a friend’s band and join the huge party that was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. We went, but she hardly talked to me all night and sent me home by myself. I had a very long, tough Thanksgiving weekend that year when it could have been blissful.
These are the ones that gnaw at you the most. If a relationship runs its course of time, then fine you can live with it. If the other person makes a mistake, that’s easily acceptable. But when YOU screw it up, you treat it like a fisherman does the big one that got away. You never forget it.
Gina is certainly not alone in the “I screwed up” category, but she remains the shining example.
2.) Right Girl, Wrong Time. Suzie and I really liked each other. But we were too young to get married (mid-20s). Still, that may not have stood in my way but she came along right as I was making the boldest move I’ve ever made in my life, packing my bags in Savannah, Ga., and moving all the way to an unseen land, Los Angeles. I had no job; I was just moving to see what opportunities in life and career I could find (several years later, I’m still here, by the way).
Suzie was one of the best-looking girls I’ve ever dated. Playboy material. She talked about coming out with me and eventually made it here as a flight attendant for Delta. But she hated it (even Manhattan Beach, go figure) and couldn’t wait to get back to Georgia. Had I stayed in Savannah, she would have been Ms. PubClub.com. Well, had I stayed in Georgia with Suzie there would not be a PubClub.com. Am I better off for it? I miss Suzie but in a word, yes.
3.) Right Time, Wrong Girl(s). There have been two times that I have been can’t-quit-thinking-about-her-all-day, head-over-heels, woops-was-that-a-wall in love.
One was destined to be a short-term, torrid love affair, the kind you read about in novels. The girl was simply too wild. Harder to corral than a rodeo bull. She was fantastic and frustrating at the same time.
The other one is the only time in the world that when I met someone, the world quit spinning. We were in an elbow-to-elbow crowded bar and I was introduced to her by a pair of friends. Suddenly, it seemed as if no one was around us; we were all alone in my mind. Dawn was short with blonde hair with sparkling blue eyes and a dynamic demeanor, exactly my kind of girl, precisely what I would produce if there were a program or an app for such things.
Unfortunately, it was her and her friend’s going-away party; they were moving the next week! Well DAMN! She was a flight attendant so we carried on like newlyweds whenever she was in town, but it wasn’t a real relationship. I also heard some rumors of her also seeing a pilot – hardly a shocking possibility – but the real kicker turned out to be a very sad ending. Dawn had lymphoma. Woke up one day on a trip and couldn’t get out of bed. She eventually, sadly, passed away from it. That is still difficult to think about to this day.
4.) Right Girl At The Right Time But I Was Too Dumb To Know It. She was there. Right before my eyes, as if Cupid himself had delivered her to me.
If only I had known it at the time.
Instead, I did what a lot of guys do, and that’s not realize what I had until I no longer had it. If nothing else, us men are fools.
I was seeing a girl fresh out of college, a cheerleader, who had a bouncy personality and the wide-eyed look of someone who had the whole world in front of her and couldn’t wait to experience every bit of it. She was (and still is, by the way) smart, independent, a bit feisty but also possessor of a soft side. Despite a somewhat tomboy tough exterior, she was as adorable as a newborn puppy.
She also had the kind of body that had guys chasing her like rabid dogs (she was completely unaware of this, by the way, which caused some tension whenever I was forced to defend her honor). I couldn’t leave her alone at the bar for 10 seconds before five guys would be surrounding her offering to buy her shots. I had to sprint when I went to the bathroom. Why she picked me I didn’t have a clue.
Yet like many men, I was foolish enough to believe “well if I can get her, I can pretty much get anyone,” so I didn’t make any serious attempts to get really serious. Even if it didn’t work out with her, surely there would be someone else to come along that would be at least her equal, perhaps even offering a slight improvement.
She certainly had her faults – she didn’t want to show even the slightest amount of affection in public, down to holding hands walking down the street, for instance – but things that at the time seemed like long-term deal-breakers were really just quirks.
We dated for more than a year. This is the girl I probably should have married.
5.) Walking On Eggshells. One gal, who still harbors strong feelings for me, was one that not only I could have married but would have married. She was hot and sexy, the sex was the best of any girl I’ve ever dated (and right up there with anyone I’ve ever had sex with, period), and the timing in my life was perfect.
W e had a blast. She was always by my side and had really fallen for me. She would have accepted a marriage proposal before I got halfway down on my knee.
So what was the problem? First, she was insanely jealous. Couldn’t stand it if a female friend so much as said hello to me. Yet this was only part of the problem; she was very fragile emotionally and while things were great 90% of the time, the other 10% she would just lose it. I could not talk with her nor reason with her during those times. I just had to endure it until whatever issue set her off eventually passed.
I simply could not go through life when I would always feel like I was walking on eggshells.
6.) The Sex Was So-So. I don’t know about you, but sex is a very important part of any relationship in which I am involved, and if the girl I’m dating is not great in bed, then we have no chance of getting married. This particular girl was exuberant enough but just didn’t have the execution part down at all. She wasn’t a natural at it and never seemed to know what she wanted or how to properly give me what I wanted. We had a good time together and did a lot of things, but I knew it would never develop into anything serious.
7.) I’m King of the Three-Month Relationships. It’s not that I try and only date someone for a short amount of time. That’s just the way it always seems to work out in the end. And it always seems to last exactly three months.
I have a theory on why this is the case: The girls really like me and want the relationship to go further. Yet, because I’m always taking them out somewhere and doing something fun rather than sitting home and watching Dancing With The Stars or American Idol, they assume I’m a wild child incapable of a “meaningful” relationship. There must be some sort of three-month clock ticking in girls, because that’s when I get the “well you’re fun BUT…” speech.
Since when is staying home watching Dancing With The Stars or American Idol a sign of a meaningful relationship? Maybe those girls are really boring in the long run and only have three months of fun in them.
8.) Traveling For Work Killed Several Potential Relationships. When I was in my full-tilt boogie PR mode, doing Advance PR for a major racing series, I was on the road. A lot. And not just for a day or two here and there, but for two weeks at a time. I would go to a location for two weeks, come back for about a week and a half, then be gone for two more weeks, including weekends.
It’s hard enough to develop a relationship when you travel for work and darned near impossible when you pack up and leave a girl behind for two straight weeks. She just doesn’t understand. For some reason, she things you are deserting her. But honey, this is how I make the money to take you out in the first place!
As soon as I would meet someone, I would have to leave, and I did this for several years. I was having no problem meeting girls, but I was like a Top Fuel Funny Car during a drag race – quick starts and several flameouts.
Plus. in the guy-heavy area in which I live, you leave a girl alone for a single weekend she’s going to be hit on more than a pinata during Cinco de Mayo. Leave her alone for two weeks and you’re waving the white flag, not the checkered flag.
9.) Long-Distance Love (They Lived in Canada). I came back from the Molson Indy one year convinced – absolutely convinced – that I was going to marry a Canadian. The next year, I found one, a peppy, petite blonde named Kelly who was smart, savvy and flat-out adorable.
“This,” I declared, “is the girl I’m going to marry!”
But how could that be, she’s in Toronto, and I’m in L.A.?! It never got off the ground. Had we been in the same place at the same time, done deal.
Kelly is only one of a pair of Canadian Girls I Could Have Married. I met the other one in Greece.
For a week, on two different islands, Sandra and I were inseparable. Daytime on the beaches, nighttime in the restaurants and bars. We were an item.
Well, all good things must come to an end, and I eventually had to leave. I’ll never forget saying goodbye to her; she was in tears. We stayed in touch, of course, but I made one major strategic mistake. I tried to get her to visit me in L.A., when I should have gone to see her first in Toronto.
Had I done that, I would have married myself a Canadian girl. And a blonde, one, too!
10.) I Like Blondes But Almost Always Seem To Wind Up Dating Brunettes. Lame excuse, I know. But girls know what their wedding will be like for years, so what’s wrong with me wanting my bride to be a blonde?
To that point, #10 actually shows the real reason I’m still single.
I’m too picky!!!