From The Archives: The Quirks, Weather & Lifestyle Of Living In Los Angeles
When I lived in Los Angeles, people I met while traveling – and friends and family back home – were always asking me what life in L.A. was really like. So I wrote this column about its quirks, traffic, people and one glorious reason we put up with all of it: the weather. It’s from the PubClub archives, but surprisingly little has changed. Except, of course, everybody’s maid has a cell phone now.
My maid has a cell phone.
If this is not enough of an indicator of everyday life in Los Angeles, then consider the fact that she uses it like a credit card sales person, calling almost weekly to set up her next appointment and attempting to guilt-trip me into scheduling her for more visits. (I’m holding out for her to start offering frequent-flier miles for every dish she washes.)
There are other quirks about living in L.A. that are completely foreign to life anywhere else on this planet. For instance, traffic on the freeways suddenly stops without warning.
You can be happily buzzing along when all of a sudden – BAM! Gridlock. Bumper to bumper. A couple of miles later, it’s all gone without a trace or even a hint as to what even caused the slowdown. This can happen at any time of the day or night.
Then there’s the lack of an attention span among the people. One minute, a particular idea or item is the greatest thing since double espresso, but as soon as something else comes along, it’s as outdated as Mel Gibson.
Living here involves being on the cutting edge of technology. Angelenos must always have the most powerful computer, the latest software, the hottest gadgets, the newest cellular phone (everyone here has at least four older, but otherwise perfectly useful models in their junk drawer), and be dressed in the most fashionable fashions. Trendy is not a word here, it’s an obsession.
These toys are paid for exclusively by credit card; we would rather have the cell service go down than be caught at the store with a checkbook. (By contrast, by the way, my mother in East Tennessee pays for her groceries with a check.)
We complain about anything that’s not perfect: The bread at a high-priced restaurant, seats not being in the Field Level when someone gives us tickets to a Dodger game, the guests on the Jimmy Kimmel Show when we decide to go, that kind of thing.
Yet despite our shortcomings, we do have one positive attribute that practically no other place in the world can claim. Something so wonderful that it keeps us here and more than makes up for any traffic the 405 can dish out to us. And the odd thing about it is that in this land of riches where money does indeed buy many people’s happiness, it is free.
It’s sunshine.
Los Angeles has, without peer, the world’s best weather. It’s sunny something like 325 days a year. Temperatures are consistently in the 70s with never a hint of humidity. It’s Bliss with a capital “B.”
Our weather wonderland is of particular benefit in the “winter” months.
I bring this up because many of us have just spent the holidays with our families in other parts of the U.S. (Another quirk about L.A. is that nobody is from here; we all come from someplace else.) Now, while we all enjoy time with our moms, pops, sisters, brothers, nephews, family pets and high school friends – The Bartender in particular has a blast playing “Uncle Kevin” – we all pretty much freeze to death.
Temporarily relocated to places such as Tennessee, Indiana, Chicago, Philadelphia, New York/New Jersey and St. Louis, the snow, low temperatures and other such conditions ravage our warmth-parched bodies. We shake, we shiver, we go days at a time without ever setting foot outside the house. It’s so cold, walking to the mailbox is a major ordeal.
My dad tells me the obscene temperatures are good because it kills a pesky pest known as the pine beetle. Yeah, but what about my outer skin!?
By the time we return to L.A. we shed our heavy coats, layered sweaters and “magic socks” (a wonderful creation I discovered that scores BIG with the family) and give ourselves back to the sun.
“I was never so happy to be back home,” said Laz, one of the area’s few actual natives who spent the holidays at his wife’s parents in Alabama, after one trip. “Our flight was late, we had to go into a different airport, but I didn’t care. I just needed to back here, back to this weather!”
(One other thing about Angelenos: We are comfortable only when the temperature is in the 72- to 78-degree range.)
A few days after returning, we inevitably find ourselves back at the beach, walking around in shorts or going for a run or bike ride.
So,while the rest of the country is getting blasted with all those winter storms, freezing temperatures, icy roads, airport closings and high heating bills, or panting through another blistering heat wave, we are at the beach, an outdoor cafe or a patio bar with a cold drink in hand, unable to relate to the weather world around us.
The Nightlife Blogger is the bar columnist for PubClub.com, An award-winning journalist, Kevin Wilkerson has spent more than two decades covering bars, nightlife, destinations and events around the world, always searching for the stories and experiences most travelers overlook.
Leave a Reply