In today’s world of Airbnbs and wineries and breweries renting out overnight space to RVs, I suppose it should not come as too much of a surprise that people are now taking vacations on farms across America.
These so-called farm stays involve actually staying with a farmer and his family. What one actually does there is really up to the farmer. It could, but not necessarily include, actually working the farm. The average cost is about $125 a night.
As someone who grew up in a mid-sized Southern city with farms all around, I personally can’t conceive of why anyone in their right mind would want to drag their family to a farm miles away from civilization with possibly no internet or even a cell phone signal to spend a vacation. Rather than stay in a hotel, how does the loft of a barn sound?
Heck, take me to the beach instead!
But it’s a thing, and these getaways from the thriving metropolis have existed for some time.
As we all know from the movie City Slickers, working on a dude ranch exists and was quite popular for a time. So I can’t say it exactly shocks me that there are farm vacations. Perhaps real city slickers want to experience life in the rural boonies, away from other people and even grocery and convenience stores. Maybe they should just watch reruns of Green Acres on MeTV.
As someone who has been exposed to farm life, I can tell you that it’s not all that relaxing. Farmers get up at sunrise. They go plow the fields, feed and milk the cows and toss hay into fields for the animals. Round hay bales weigh from 600 to 1,600 pounds, mind you; where do you think those beefy Nebraska football linemen of the team’s championship years got all their strength?
On a farm, you’re miles from the nearest town and that’s all it is – a town. My dad grew up in Leicester, N.C., a no-stoplight place that had one business, a grocery store and tire recapping center. My mom was from nearby Hendersonville (population 14,000 in 2020) and dad called her a “city girl.” The biggest entertainment was, as far as I can tell, large family picnics on, you guessed it, a farm.
Most people, I would guess, would be bored silly after a day. Especially kids. And be careful if the farmer puts you to work. For one thing, farm animals have a certain smell that takes some getting used to, to put it mildly. It’s hard labor, not exactly my thing, either. Because of insurance and safety concerns, most farmers will not guests drive a tractor. They might let you ride a horse if they have one but if you don’t know how to ride a horse, don’t expect to be riding through the countryside like John Wayne in True Grit.
Sure, you’ll eat well – farmers wives seem to be born with an incredible ability to cook up great country meals the likes of which will have you hankering for seconds and even thirds – and you’ll likely soon discover that mealtime is the highlight your the day.
That and going to the local Walmart where you can catch up on the area gossip.
Hey, I’m a city guy and a beach bum, and this in no way an insult to the hard-working farmers of America and the world. In fact, I respect the heck out of them. They have an incredible work ethic and don’t even think twice about putting in regular 12-hour physical days. Cowboys hats off to them.
It’s just not for me. You see, farms are hot, often dry (the term “redneck” comes from farm workers whose necks would get red from having the sun beat down on them while working in the fields) and did I mention there is nothing to do for entertainment? Many farmhouses don’t even have cable TV and must rely on a satellite dish, if they even have that “luxury.”
The towns are hardly exciting, either. Think of John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane” song where sitting outside the Tasty Freeze is about as rich as things get in small farm towns.
But hey, if that’s what you want, go for it. And when it’s done, drop me a note with a comment on this article to let me know what you thought of it.
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