Will Florida Chomp Or Flop, Georgia-Auburn And Alabama-Texas A&M Predictions
College football is back. The SEC is back. But enough with the welcoming committee it’s time to get down to some serious football!
Week 1 – all previous weeks were just warmups until the SEC teams took the field – showed that there’s a new sheriff in StarkVegas, a return to what we expect to see from Coach O on the bayou, continued luck on the Plains, the search for a quarterback in Athens, the K-State curse in Oklahoma and no defense in Texas.
Now onto this week’s games. All times Pacific because the Prognosticator lives in San Diego.
South Carolina at Florida (9 a.m., ESPN)
The Swamp Creatures are back in the Swamp for their home opener and welcome a bunch of Gamecocks who had their feathers ruffled last week. This would appear to be like feeding chicken on a wire to an alligator but the Roosters can get a bit feisty when you don’t expect it. The Chompers might be looking way ahead but they better be looking right in front of them or else they will find themselves drowned in their own muck. Winner: Florida
Missouri at Tennessee (9 a.m., SEC Network)
There’s optimism in Rocky Top but if the volunteer Infantrymen fail to load their muskets they could be firing blanks all afternoon. The visiting Felines are a bit more ferocious than they appear from a distance and are especially nasty when they get defensive. This could spell trouble for the orange Ts (by the way, that’s a reference to an old golf course in Knoxville where the Prognosticator lost many balls in a swamp by the Par-3 8th) so this is a very big mental and physical test for the Pruitt troops. Realty check: The Vols are not quite “there” yet. Winner: Missouri
Texas A&M at Alabama (12:30 p.m., CBS)
After stomping through Missouri, the Red Elephants take the stampede to Bryant-Denny where they look to roll through a bunch of Cadets who barely escaped an attack by the Commodore navy. The Jimobs were no doubt looking ahead last week but they had better bring every weapon from the State College armory with them to try and put a dent in the crimson fortress. Even at full strength, tho, they won’t be able to hold back the firepower available to Tide field general Mac Jones. Winner: Alabama
Virginia Tech at Duke (1 p.m., ACC Network)
If the Pokies can win a game down 23 players, then surely they can beat the Dukies. Winner: Virginia Tech
Auburn at Georgia (4:30 p.m., ESPN)
The Dawgs were on a tight leash in their opener but they had better get cut loose this week because you can’t give the Gus Busers an inch. Or a yard because as Kentucky knows there’s likely to be quick-whistled ref in the vicinity. The UGA-less UGAs (the Bulldog mascot will be watching from his air-conditioned doghouse in Savannah rather than from ‘tween the Hedges) will be on their third quarterback of the young season while AU’s Nix tries to mix it up against the Dog defense. Auburn usually doesn’t bring its “luck of the Plains” with it on the road but just to be sure, Georgia had better get a good five-plus yards into the end zone for touchdowns to count. Winner: Georgia
LSU at Vanderbilt (4:30 p.m., SEC Network)
Normally, this matchup would not register a blip on the Prognosticator’s college football radar, but with the Bungle Tigers’ opening loss and the Anchors’ solid showing in a loss makes the game into this week’s predictions. Fortunately for the Coach O’s, they are facing a slow-moving navy instead of an Air Raid force and while this will about as pretty as a mud bug on a muddy road in the bayou, a win is a still win. Winner: LSU
Oklahoma at Iowa State (4:30 p.m., ABC)
The Boomers went bust against the K-Staters last week and face another frequent tormentor in the Cyclones. So far, tho, the Iowa-based Hurricanes have yet to develop much of a storm front and are going to need to get up to Cat 4 or 5 strength to win this one. Winner: Oklahoma
Virginia at Clemson (5 p.m., ACC Network)
The Orange Cats’ cakewalk schedule continues with this creampuff, served with a candle on top of it. The Cavaliers took advantage last week of Duke being cavalier with the football (seven turnovers) to get a W, but the Dabos won’t be nearly as generous. Winner: Clemson