Inside The Helmets For USC-Notre Dame, Alabama-Texas A&M, Florida-LSU
This is the Pigskin Prognosticator, a weekly look “inside the helmets” of key college football games for the week of Oct. 17.
Have we ever had a wilder week off the field, during the week, in the history of college football?
The Prognosticator does not want to take comedic jabs at Steve Sarkisian because when you start drinking at 10 in the morning at work you’ve got a problem and need to get it solved.
The problem is either Pat Haden or USC as a whole for not looking into this guy’s history (or not paying attention to it) in the first place and then not doing what the Prognosticator recommended and that’s letting him go after that Salute to Troy incident.
These things never go away and if they had consulted the Prognosticator, I would gladly have told them that, and if they were holding out because of the Trojans’ lofty preseason rankings, that those predictions were blown way out of proportion.
The Prognosticator would have also told the other big newsmaker of the week, Steve “I’m Not So Superior Anymore” Spurrier,” that with one exception in 2010 his teams were not really that great even when they won 11 games three years in a row.
That they won a lot in Auburn-esque style (that is to say, either luck or incredible meltdowns by the opponent) and Spurrier should have left after last season. But how’s this for juice – he would be outstanding at the OTHER USC. Don’t laugh; it makes a lot of sense, and here’s why:
Is Steve Spurrier Trading One USC For Another USC?
Now, onto this week’s games.
Thursday
AUBURN at KENTUCKY (4 p.m, ESPN)
The Prognosticator gets a kick at listening to the supposed college football experts say this about Auburn: “well, we all got it wrong.” Well not me! No team has faded faster than Aubie this year, and part of that is scheduling – after losing to Mississippi State, Auburn has played San Jose State, had a bye week and now faces Kentucky. The Tigers may have to file a missing persons report, team-style, to be noticed again. Had anyone been paying attention, they would have noted Auburn’s star receiver was kicked off the team for fighting with teammates in a bar and that the coach has yet to name a starting quarterback for this game. All the Wildcats have to do is keep from self destructing. Which is possible, of course, because it’s not quite yet basketball season. Winner: Kentucky.
UCLA at STANFORD (7:30 p.m., ESPN)
With a week off, the Baby Bruins have been able to lick their paws from the beating they took against Arizona State and should be primed to rattle a few trees on The Farm. But the Cardinal are like that beehive that a bear just can’t quite reach, tormenting the Bruins by staying just out of striking distance. Maybe UCLA will come out all fired up, bounce back up like the Trampolines they are, but they have not beaten the former Indians since 2008. In fact, the Cardinal has a way of making both LA teams look red with embarrassment after the games. Winner: Stanford
Saturday
WEST VIRGINIA at BAYLOR (9 a.m., FOX)
This is your early-morning, stretch, yawn, post-run, get-in-a-volleyball-game-or-two, tune-in-at-halftime game to set the table for the rest of Saturday. Maybe you think West Virginia can expose Baylor and when you turn on the TV early in the third quarter you will note some ridiculous 35-28 score and think the Couch Burners have a chance. But this is not the team to beat the Bears. Tho that team is coming. Eventually. And it is not TCU. Winner: Baylor
MICHIGAN STATE at MICHIGAN (12:30 p.m., ABC)
What a difference a coach makes, right 49ers? Before jumping on ‘ol khaki pants’ back, let’s focus for a moment on the man in green. The guy USC should be pursuing (and who they might be but with the shaky decisions coming out of there lately, don’t count on it) is a heck of a coach himself. His teams are solid, fundamental and play with a mental toughness that gives them the edge. That being said, the Prognosticator has also seen Sparty struggle this year and that fortunate win over Oregon – the Ducks dropped what was probably the game-winning touchdown – now looks very unimpressive. Plus, this game is in the Big House. Winner: Michigan.
ALABAMA at TEXAS A&M (12:30 p.m, CBS)
The media is in love with Texas A&M, but they were, too, with USC, Oregon, Auburn… Frankly, the Aggies have proved nothing so far to the Prognosticator and remember got thumped 59-0 last year in T-town. That won’t happen this year, of course, but the Tide is still playing angry. And while the current Aggies quarterback can be shifty, he’s not Johnny Manziel. Winner: Alabama
FLORIDA at LSU (4 p.m., ESPN)
The third big story of the week in college football was the suspension of Florida’s starting QB for PEDs. He claimed he took and an over-the-counter supplement and if that’s all it was, a one-year suspension is way too harsh a penalty. But the Prognosticator was not there when he did it, so can’t say for sure, of course. Maybe he felt he needed a little extra “oomph” going into Death Valley. Now the Gators are limping in like that three-legged alligator that used to reside in a pond on campus. That’s not good when you’re entering the Louisiana swamp with a mean gator of a running back like the Tigers have on their squad. Winner: LSU
USC at NOTRE DAME (4:30 p.m., ESPN)
About the only highlight of that disappointing ESPN 30-for-30 feature on the Trojans was this game, the famous “Bush Push.” About this year’s game, it’s not uncommon for a team to suddenly rally right after a coach’s firing and play lights out, fueled by emotion. Then that emotion runs out the next week and the guys lose to a team like Washington State (oh, sorry Oregon!). No doubt the talented Trojans will come charging out like they are on a Traveler stampede. But how long can that emotion last against a team that may not be that good, but thinks it is good. In the end, the emotions are going to be too much for Troy. Winner: Notre Dame.
PENN STATE at OHIO STATE (5 p.m, ABC)
How nice it must be, SEC teams say, to be able to cruise through a conference without a worry in the world. To face weak team after weak team, focus on the girls in the stands and still win. If the Lions had half an offense this might be a game. Just the name Penn State will put Brutus on alert but as the pattern has been for Ohio State this year, it will be somewhat close. Then the Buckeyes will break a big play, and thus Penn State’s back. Winner: Ohio State.
ARIZONA STATE at UTAH (7 p.m, ESPN)
The Sun Devils have a tradition of turning it all on at the oddest times. They usually do this on the road, largely because they don’t have all the distractions of home games (namely, being in a hurry to get to the bars and to the girls, and with those ASU hotties, who can blame them!?). But they just might catch the Utes by surprise, especially after that somewhat big win Utah had over Cal last week (ESPN GameDay being there and all). Just a hunch here, so, Winner: Arizona
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