After Drinking the Lane Kiffin Kool-Aid USC Fans Need Tequila Shots

Win Or Lose We Booze Really To Test Trojans’ Top Party School Ranking With Cal Tailgate Party

They set themselves up like an open bar at a wedding.

Cast aside any doubt like a sailor on shore leave.

And now they are as deflated as a beach ball after Labor Day.

Well, that’s what happens when you believe the hype, ignore your coach’s past– let alone his character flaws – and think your team is going to win it all because a quarterback came back for his senior season and you’ve got two great receivers.

Instead of drinking the Lame Kiffin hype that’s been poured your way by the coach and media that either doesn’t understand college football or is just trying to get some other team to talk about besides one from the SEC, USC Trojans fans should have been drinking tequila shots.

They sure had plenty of them Saturday night as their poorly prepared team was out-coached and thoroughly outplayed by Stanford in a 21-14 loss on the Farm. Actually, had Stanford been able to kick a field goal, it would have been 30-14 because the Cardinal flubbed three attempts.

Win or Lose, We Booze, right USC? We’ll find out this week if the Trojans – ranked in the Top 10 of PubClub.com’s Top Party Schools – have another lively tailgate party at the Coliseum in them when they host Cal.  If, on the other hand, they are  as listless as USC has been in its last two games, then it may be time to consider a replacement.

Trojan fans certainly found other things to do Sunday when their friends were out partying on another gorgeous Los Angeles weekend.”I have things to do,” and “I have a lot of work to do tomorrow,” were common excuses. They were too disappointed to be out in public.

It’s understandable. Because of probation – the punishment of losing a whopping 10 scholarships a year for three years hardly fit the crime, especially considering the hand-slap Ohio State received –  they knew the 2012 season was their best chance for national relevance for at least the next four years.

But pleeze – you brought this disappointment upon yourself.

You lived up to your nickname of the University of Spoiled Children by pumping out your chests all summer and through the first two games. You are good people but refused to listen to warnings from The Bar Blogger about your coach. About how he ignores football fundamentals to fuel the flames of statistics.  About how the Trojans will prove to be as careless as their coach. (USC committed a whopping 27 penalties  in its first three games and was actually out-gained by Syracuse, a red-flag warning if there ever was one, but one that was masked by fans and many in the media because Barkley threw six touchdown passes.)

“Oh now,Matt Barkley passed up the NFL to take care of ‘unfinished business,’ ” you said. “Robert Woods and Marqise Lee  could play in the NFL right now! And we’re ranked #1!”

While The Bar Blogger protested with “but your coached by Lame Kiffin” you kept up your talk about playing for the BCS National Championship.

Don’t think, either, that USC can rebound and still win the title, for a team as unprepared as the Trojans were against the Cardinal is not suddenly going to spring up and correct itself. Lame’s post-game comments of “I thought we would come out and kind of start rolling” about being shut out in the second should send you straight to the liquor cabinet. It shows the coach made no halftime adjustments to try and and slow down Stanford’s pass rush that he felt Barkley, Woods and Lee would magically start putting up video game numbers as if they were playing Hawaii.

But Barkley, Woods and Lee looked as lost as a drunk coming out of a bathroom in a strange stadium (I’ve been there, so I know the feeling. Hmm, where AM I, and where is my seat!?). Somebody should have introduced themselves to one another. “Hi, I’m Matt, and I’ll be your quarterback today…”

Well, let’s see how USC fans react. Will they stay in hiding against Cal, or say “what the heck, we better get used to this” and go all out with the tailgating?

Just take The Bar Blogger’s advice this time: Have plenty of tequila handy.