A Firsthand Lesson About Bourbon Street Shot Girls And Tube Shots

Tube shot girls New Orleans bars nightlife blogger — If you didn’t know better you would think I’m making out with this girl in a Bourbon Street bar. Photo: PubClub.com

Sometimes a night on Bourbon Street teaches you a lesson. This one took about 30 seconds and cost me $30.

Blondes.

If you are wondering how in the world I did what I wrote in the headline, or even if it’s true, my one-word response is blondes.

I’m a sucker for a pretty blonde and one pulled me into a bar on Bourbon Street. And when I was surrounded by three more, well, I was like a race car driver headed straight for a concrete wall. I was just along for the ride at that point. I probably wouldn’t have hit the brake pedal anyway.

These were shot girls selling shots out of long plastic tubes in one of those slushy drink places. At first my guard was up but it was a slow night for lookers and I worked out a deal with them. I would do the shots if I could take their photos to post on PubClub.com. I even gave them temporary PubClub tattoos.

That is, however, the last part of this situation I had control of, because one girl took control of me, pulled two tubes of the, er, rack, and put them down my mouth. Before I could even mutter an “ok” she put two more in her cleavage, two more in her mouth and we did a “kiss shot” and then pressed my head to her crotch and put a shot down her shorts.

That is when I pulled the ripcord. I could not do the math that fast but I knew I had already blown more than half of my drinking budget in that one moment. And while it was difficult to pull my face out of the girl’s shorts (for two reasons, she had a good deal of pressure applied to my head and of course, my face was right in front of her unbuttoned cutoffs and she was hot!) I managed to succeed.

That’s when the fun was ended, especially when she said “that will be $30.”

Fortunately, I only had $31 with me. She protested, saying she was “only getting $1 out of the deal” and “there’s an ATM machine right over there,” but I was done.

And I can tell you there was NO way I was going to go to that ATM! If I thought $30 in 30 seconds was bad, it could easily have turned into $40 in 40 seconds or even $60 in 60 seconds.

So I managed to escape, have a story to tell and a blog to post about from the, ahem, experience. I also got some good photos out of it (one of the other blondes had a field day with my camera!).

Oh, and those shots. Weak. I’m not even sure they had any alcohol in them.

The Nightlife Blogger is the bar columnist for PubClub.com, An award-winning journalist, Kevin Wilkerson has spent more than two decades covering bars, nightlife, destinations and events around the world, always searching for the stories and experiences most travelers overlook. He has spent many a night in New Orleans but still got suckered by the blonde shot girls.